ST. LOUIS — Chaos broke out last evening when Binki, a 15-year-old mixed breed dog, was suddenly and savagely attacked by a rogue mockingbird. Efforts to contact Binki regarding the horrific event have failed, but witnesses describe the event as “sad” yet “funny” and “hilarious.”
According to witnesses, Binki was strolling through her front yard last evening, enjoying the cooling temperatures and seeking the perfect place to relieve herself, when a mockingbird swooped down from an overhead wire and dive-bombed her tail. Binki did not notice the bird at first, but a second attempt by the bird got her attention, as the bird dived a second time and came closer to Binki’s rear end. Binki ignored the renegade bird, but that tactic proved fruitless as the bird dive-bombed a third time, this time hitting Binki right on the rear end.
Witnesses, who did not rush to help either because they were laughing so hard or they were secretly afraid of getting mauled by the angered bird, next describe Binki high-tailing it for the front door, as fast as her furry little legs could take her.
Later that evening, a return visit to the front yard was thankfully mockingbird-free. Binki was able to recover quickly from the attack and all seemed well.
Unfortunately, the attacks resumed this morning. As Binki entered the front yard, the mockingbird flew from across the street to wires running to the front porch. He was soon joined by a second mockingbird. They sat on the overhead wires directly over Binki, who remained oblivious to the conspiring birds and went about her normal business. A witness walked out in the yard in an effort to scare the birds away and it seemed to work when both birds took flight. The witness then escorted Binki down the sidewalk to continue her morning walk.
However, the birds were not to be deterred and flew into trees just across the street. As the witness and Binki neared the porch, one of the birds struck, nipping Binki right on the rear end. Binki yipped and ran into the house.
Return visits to the front yard have been, needless to say, extremely short. Sources say mockingbirds are prone to attack domestic cats and dogs and other birds will gather to watch the mockingbirds attack their victim.
Spokespeople for Binki have issued this statement:
Binki wishes to thank everyone who has offered their support while she is dealing with terrorizing mockingbirds. She hopes that this raises awareness of mockingbird attacks in the general public. She would also like to ask the states of Arkansas, Florida, Mississippi, Tennessee and Texas to re-think their celebration of violence by revoking the “State Bird” status of the mockingbird. We must make a stand against these dive-bombing demons!
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Bellow! 