Binki Issues Another Statement Regarding the Mockingbirds

ST. LOUIS — Binki released a statement this afternoon amid allegations of her own misconduct and possible instigation of the vicious mockingbird attack:

I wish to put to rest any rumors and untruths beginning to surface regarding my prior interactions with the neighborhood mockingbirds, who viciously and without reason attacked me Friday night and again on Saturday. I have never, nor will I ever, injure or instigate any malice toward said mockingbirds. The attacks on me were completely unprovoked and unexpected. I have been nothing but a good neighbor. I even help fertilize the yard on occasion. Maybe I fertilized a little too close to the mockingbirds’ nest and maybe that’s the reason for their attacks. I don’t know. I’m not a mockingbird psychologist. But if I did fertilize a little too close to their nest, it certainly wasn’t out of spite or anything. I mean come on, the only things I do out of spite is eat shoes and drink water too fast so I can throw it up on the oriental rug. Anyway, I am completely innocent of any wrongdoing regarding the mockingbirds. I now wish to move on with my life and put these heinous attacks behind me. Thank you for your understanding.


2 Responses

  1. Does Binki have advising counsel? I’m not so sure that she should have admitted fertilizing so close to that nest…

  2. I believe you Binki!

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