Police Reports

We have a local newspaper that covers a number of small towns here in St. Louis county. Recently, I noticed that the police reports are bordering on hilarious! I don’t know if these reports are taken directly from the police or if a journalist is embellishing them, but take a gander at the latest reports:

  • A trespassing ex-boyfriend was escorted April 11 from a home in the 300 block of Madison Avenue. Next time, police said, the man will know better than to argue with his girlfriend, especially when she owns the house.
  • An inebriated fellow turned himself in to police April 12. Police arrived for a call from the 300 block of Madison Avenue, and were met by a man who staggered up to the car and said he was “doing it again.” When asked what he was “doing again,” the man pointed at the residence and said he had been getting drunk again. Officers contacted the people inside the home, who said the drunk out front called the police on himself. Upon hearing this, the inebriated subject told police he “resembled that remark.” After a good laugh, the officers were able to get the subject to go back inside and pass out.
  • Officers were called to an apartment on Raritan Drive April 13 for a stolen vehicle. They learned the vehicle was not stolen but crashed when an intoxicated girlfriend tried to back the vehicle out of the garage. After crashing the truck the girlfriend called another boyfriend to pick her up. Police took a report of leaving the scene of an accident and property damage, and arrested the girlfriend.
  • Officers were called to a residence in the 1200 block of Gilbert Avenue April 15 for a strange subject knocking on doors. Officers looked for the strangest subject they could find and stopped him. He admitted knocking on the door but after knocking realized he was at the wrong house. Police escorted him to the correct residence the next block over. 
  • Officers raided an unsupervised teenage party April 16 on Eldorado Court. After sneaking up on the unsuspecting teens and scaring the bejesus out of them, officers notified the parents of the incognito party. After the teen host spoke to his parents, the party was over, police said.
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3 Responses

  1. It is nice to know that our police department in Rock Hill has a sense of humor!

  2. On ajc.com ( the Atlanta newspaper) read View from the Cop. It’s a blog by a Sandy Springs police officer. He is very funny.

  3. I can’t believe they used the term “bejesus”. Is that a technical term? These were funny!

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