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In Hot Water

My favorite time of day is bedtime – I put the kids to bed and head off to the shower – my reward for getting through the day and not cursing out the American Bar Association telemarketer who calls to solicit contributions. How about getting me a JOB . . . then maybe I’ll give you some money. Really people. You can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip, right?

Anyway, the other night I was enjoying my nightly ritual of standing in the shower and washing the day away, when I noticed the water was not hot enough. Even turning the hot water full blast wasn’t doing anything. Now it is true that I like my water near scalding, but this was only warm water at best. My mind immediately started running through the possible reasons for the tepid water – running the dishwasher? No. Running the washing machine? No. Running the illegal moonshine still in the basement? Again, no.

The only reason I could think of was the impending death of our water heater. Great. It’s not as if we haven’t had a terrible run of bad luck – job lost, medical bills, totaled car . . . I could keep going on and on, but then I might need some mood-altering drugs to get through the day. I prefer the mood-altering shower, which was putting out a pathetic lukewarm stream of water and not the comforting, first-degree-burn-causing shower of water I usually enjoy.

I showered quickly and got out, still rehashing what could have happened to the water heater. I just saw the water heater in the basement earlier, and it seemed fine, no weird noises or explosions. I walked right by it when I was doing laundry with Matthew . . .  Matthew! (You must clench your jaw when you say his name in this context.) He was playing near the water heater when I was loading the washing machine. (Because I often let my 4 year old son play with appliances fueled by natural gas. Don’t you?)

I ran down to the basement and sure enough – Matt had turned the temperature dial on the water heater down to the “vacation” setting. For those of you who don’t know, this setting saves you money by not heating water unnecessarily while you’re gone. I felt an immediate wave of relief and irritation at the same time – so we have a functioning water heater – that’s good, but Matthew (clench your jaw) ruined a perfectly good relaxing shower.

It’s a good thing he was already asleep, or I would have had a difficult time calmly explaining why he should keep his hands to himself and not touch stuff that’s not his. After a night’s sleep, I was able to tell Matthew very calmly that he was not to touch the water heater again, or bad things would happen. Very bad things. Like a straightjacket. And he wouldn’t want that to happen, now would he?


2 Responses


  2. Love the blog – has me laughing out loud (or as the internet community and text kids say, lol). 🙂

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