Addition To My Resume: Dog Groomer

Binki is somewhat of a mystery to us, with us not knowing from whence she came and sometimes wondering if she was sent from the shores of hades just to look at us judgmentally and occasionally mete out punishment in the form of household destruction. Anyway, she’s part-something-collie-rottweiler-sloth with fuzzy fur that doesn’t shed – until she gets really fuzzy, then it falls out in large clumps of black fuzz.

She was really furry lately for three reasons: 1) it’s winter and she could use a longer coat; 2) it costs more to take her to the groomers than to get my hair cut; 3) I now have to sign an “old dog waiver” at the groomers, so we won’t sue them – just in case she dies during grooming – and that was just a little weird. When I was first presented with the waiver, I was a little taken aback – I mean, really? Grooming could kill my dog? Was it going to be so traumatic that she would suffer a heart attack? Could there be a fatal bathing incident? Were their groomers so bad that they had suffered some casualties before? I began to think I needed an advance health care directive to have on file with the groomer, just in case the grooming went badly.

But Binki was way too furry and black balls of fuzz were turning up everywhere – I could vacuum and two minutes later, black fur would blow through the room like tumbleweed. I needed to stop this before one of the kids became sucked into a fur ball and blown around the house. Lacking the appropriate grooming tools for a proper job, I got out the household scissors, trapped her in the hallway and started cutting away. Kind of like a slasher/evil groomer movie.

I have to say, the job’s not half bad. It’s a little choppy in areas where she wouldn’t cooperate, but hopefully it will cut down on the fur factor. Binki, needless to say, is not thrilled with the new ‘do. She pretty much ignored me while I cut her fur and once finished, looked at me like “How could you?” and ran off to the kitchen to demand treats. I gave in, she had her treat and then she stormed off to her bed to sulk. I think she’s planning a retaliation which possibly involves some sort of bodily fluid and our carpet.

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2 Responses

  1. So, I’m dying to see some pictures?!?!

  2. Would like to see some pictures too 🙂

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