CSI: St. Louis

FADE IN.

INT. HOME OFFICE. 8:45 P.M.

CHRIS and MELISSA are inside. CHRIS is sitting at a computer desk, working on a Palm Treo with a screwdriver. He is trying to pry the back cover off. MELISSA is sitting slightly behind him, watching a movie.

CHRIS
(straining to pry cover off with screwdriver)
I just can’t . . . get this cover off . . . (Screwdriver slips, lacerating his right thumb.) Huh. I just cut myself.
MELISSA looks up from her movie and discovers CHRIS holding his right arm up, blood dripping from his thumb, down his arm and onto the floor.
MELISSA
(Excitedly.) Oh my gosh! There’s blood everywhere!
CHRIS
(Very calmly.) Yeah. Could you get me a towel?
MELISSA runs down the hall, returning with towel and hands it to CHRIS. CHRIS wraps his right thumb in the towel. Blood has spattered all over the floor.
CHRIS
I think I cut myself pretty deep. I may need to get some stitches. Look at this. (Pulling towel away from thumb and exposing an almost 2″ gash.)
MELISSA looks at CHRIS’S thumb. She shudders at the sight.
MELISSA
(Yelling into the hallway, voice intensifying with panic.) Boys! Get dressed! We need to take your father to the emergency room!
MELISSA runs out in the hall and meets MATTHEW, who has just gotten out of the tub. He is naked except for the towel he’s thrown over his shoulder.
MATTHEW
(Casually.) What, Mama? We need to go to the doctor? Why?
BRANDON enters the hallway, also wrapped in a towel.
BRANDON
(Excitedly.) Don’t ask questions! Get some clothes on!
BRANDON runs down the stairs towards his room. MATTHEW walks towards the office and sees the blood.
MATTHEW
(Very casually.) Hey, Mom. There’s blood all over the floor.
MELISSA
(Hurriedly.) Yes, Matt, I know. Go get some clothes on now.
MATTHEW
Why do I have to go to the doctor?
MELISSA
(Exasperated.) You don’t have to see the doctor. We all have to take daddy to the doctor.
MATTHEW
Oh.
Family prepares to leave for emergency room.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN.
INT. HOME OFFICE. 10:30 P.M.
The family returns from the emergency room, where CHRIS received about ten or so stitches in his right thumb. His right thumb is wrapped in gauze. CHRIS and MELISSA are standing in the doorway of the office.
MELISSA
(In wonderment.) Wow. I did not realize how far blood spatters. Look! There’s blood on the opposite wall . . . and the closet door . . . and the file cabinet . . . and the printer . . . It looks like a crime scene in here!
CHRIS
Yeah. I must have shaken my hand after I cut it.
MELISSA
You probably did.
MELISSA and CHRIS clean up the blood spatter with Clorox wipes.
CHRIS
Now, where’s that Treo? I need to finish my project.
MELISSA
You’ve got to be kidding me . . .
CHRIS
(Interrupting.) Of course I am. (Calling down the hall.) Hey, boys! Who’s up for some Tiger Woods?
FADE OUT.
————————
Not to worry, Chris is fine now. After a trip to the emergency room, we cleaned up the office (thank goodness for laminate flooring!) and now he, Brandon and Matthew are playing a game of Tiger Woods PGA Golf Tour Extravaganza 2003 (or something like that) downstairs. Clorox wipes work wonders on blood spatter and magic eraser actually removes blood from walls! (Thanks, Marissa and Kasha for that tip!) Hope you all have a happy (and safe!) 4th of July!
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2 Responses

  1. For the record, CHRIS (AKA dumb-dumb)sliced his thumb open with a 3″ Swiss Army Knife. A REAL one. And it’s brand new. I admired my incision with the ER doc, who agreed it was a very straight cut, although “…’incision’ implies INTENT.” True enough. But at least I know that if this Psychology gig doesn’t work out, I could be a very competent surgeon (with a propensity to operate on himself in unnecessary places).

    Dumb-dumb

  2. Melissa,

    Was there any work related activity going on that could give rise to a worker’s compensation claim?

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