My Wednesday Afternoon

4 pm: Arrive home.

4:01: Find bird in house.

4:01 – 4:30: Try to open every window and door, get broom for protection, stay low.

4:30: Can’t find bird anymore; must have flown out window.

4:30 – 4:45: Search house for bird poop.

4:55: Arrive at school to pick up Brandon from violin practice.

4:55 – 5:20: Search all over school for Brandon because he’s not where he’s supposed to be. Alert teachers, custodians, make announcement on intercom, yell into boys bathrooms, “Brandon, are you in there?”

5:21: Discover Brandon on playground of school, swinging. Briefly consider getting the kid a cell phone, but then come to my senses and think a shock collar would be a better investment.

5:22: Threaten Brandon with severe punishment if he ever does that again.

5:23: Call off massive, frantic search of school consisting of the orchestra teacher, the custodian and me.

5:30: Arrive at Daycare to pick up Matthew.

5:31 – 5:45: Matthew’s teacher discusses Matthew’s new problem of not listening in class and continually getting in trouble. Oh, and he’s blaming everything on Brandon.

5:50: Threaten Matthew with severe punishment if he ever does that again.

6:00: Arrive home.

(Sorry, Marissa – you already read this, but I thought it was so good [alright, I’m lazy] I thought I’d post it.)


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