Squirrel Hazing

It appears that there is a huge conspiracy in the squirrel world that, as a rite of passage, squirrels are to dart out in front of cars in a sudden game of car-on-squirrel chicken. If you ask Brandon, he will quickly tell you that I have run over two squirrels that he knows of, and probably a lot more that I won’t admit to. That last part is not true; I’ve only won the car-on-squirrel chicken game twice.

I imagine a group of squirrels on the side of the road, watching for the next car and instructing the freshman squirrel on just how to calculate the speed of the car, anticipate running just under the front tires and rolling to the other side of the road. Some squirrels actually accomplish this feat, and they obviously get squirrel credential for surviving the game.

This trend seems to be spreading among the rodent world because today a chipmunk ran under my car. I did not hear a thump or thud signifying that I had won the impromptu game of car-on-chipmunk chicken. But I did not see the poor chipmunk any more, either. So I’m hoping that the little guy made it across, realized that he was lucky to be alive and really didn’t need to join the squirrel fraternity to prove to anyone that he was worthy, and promptly headed home to study Chipmonkery 101 or something like that.

Then again, he may be stuck to my tire. Yuck.


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