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Conversation With A 3 Year Old; Or, Deny, Deny, Deny

Mom: Matthew, why is this rug wet?

Matthew: It’s not wet.

Mom: Yes, it is wet. Did you spill your cup of water?

Matthew: It’s not wet. I didn’t spill.

Mom: Matt, the rug is wet. Why is it wet? You poured your water out, didn’t you?

Matthew: No. Yes.

Mom: Did you spill water on the rug?

Matthew: No. Yes. It’s not wet.

I learned trial practice techiques from an ex-prosecutor. I’ve cross examined witnesses on the stand in front of a jury. I can’t get a straight answer out of my demon child 3 year old.


2 Responses

  1. It’s called “plausible deniability.” Our son is a REPUBLICAN!!! Quick, turn on PBS and force-feed him Telletubbies or Dora. No more glimpses of G-Dub speeches! AARRRGGGHHHH!!!

  2. Ahhh … now it makes sense that his first word was ‘strategery’!

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