The Dog Thinks She Owns The Place

Since Moose’s traumatic stint outside in the backyard by herself for an hour (see Sunday’s post), she has been pouting and demanding attention by constantly being underfoot, laying down in the most inconvenient places (like in front of the cable box so she blocks the signal from the remote control or in front of the kitchen sink so you can’t cook or wash dishes without stepping on her), randomly barking at nothing and pawing at her (full) food bowl. It seems that she is angry for horrible lack of civility shown to her, what having to wait on the back porch for an hour.

Never mind that she’s a DOG. She seems to have forgotten her place in this world: Parents, kids, laundry, dishes, houseplants, dust, then dog. Well, I’m exaggerating a little. Most of the time, it’s kids, laundry, dishes, dust, houseplants, parents, then dog.

This morning was the final straw. I’ve been kind of consoling (as much as it is in my nature to be) and catered to a few of her demands (like food and water). This morning she sufficiently extinguished any remaining sympathy I might have felt for her.

It was a dark and stormy . . . morning. I set my alarm early so I have time to myself before the onslaught of kids, breakfast, clothes and bathroom time. When I walked into the hall, Moose was super excited that I was finally semi-conscious. She began her ‘excited walking pattern’ (she’s too fat and old to jump) which made her rabies tag clink against her collar.

This would most certainly awaken the toddler, so I very quietly told her that she better settle down if she knows what’s good for her. She continued anyway, so I went downstairs in an effort to draw her away from Matthew’s bed room and his extraordinary sense of hearing.

Once we were downstairs, I thought her ‘excited walking pattern’ may actually be the result of really needing to relieve herself, so I opened the back door and invited her to answer nature’s call. She took one step out on the porch and refused to budge any further. Did I mention it was pouring down rain? She was NOT going outside in this weather, thank you very much.

So I told her that this was her chance; she better take it. She refused. I thought I’d try again a little later, hoping the rain would stop and she would at least forage out to the patio. Then the kids got up, I started making breakfast and lunches and I kind of forgot all about Moose.

Until . . . Moose answered nature’s call in the kitchen. And in the dining room. And possibly elsewhere, I just haven’t found it yet. Needless to say, this did NOT make my day. I had to stop what I was doing, clean up the mess, mop and . . . take the trash out. In the rain.

This dog is purely EVIL. She knows what she is doing. Oh, sure, she looks all cuddly and cute and she has an adorable back story, but she is the DEVIL. THE. DEVIL.

Don’t worry; she’s still alive. No animals have been harmed in the making of this post. Yet.

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3 Responses

  1. She brings no joy…

  2. Have you considered a gold fish as the family pet?

  3. She brings me no . . . joy . . .

    Actually, we did have goldfish in Oklahoma; they also peed in the house, so I banished them to the garden pond outside.

    Moose obviously did not learn the lesson of the goldfish.

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