"Uncomfortable Elevator Moment"

When I arrived at work today and rounded the corner to the bank of elevators waiting to whisk me to my 10th floor office, I was met by the security guard and maintenance guy. They were staring at the panel on the wall that shows where the individual elevators are. They were saying:

“That one’s still stuck on 3.”
“That one on 12 hasn’t moved in a while.”

And then the light above one of the elevators came on (“This Car Up” it says) and the doors opened. A mother and her young daughter boarded and so did a another guy, so I decided I’d be brave, too, and risk being stuck in the elevator. Otherwise, I’d have to walk up to the 10th floor, and you know I’d rather call in sick from the lobby than walk 10 flights of stairs.

Anyway, the elevator proceeded upwards as usual, but made odd sounding clicks as it went up. It stopped on my floor and for a moment, I expected the doors to open to expose that we were stuck between floors and I’d have to crawl out. But it didn’t, it was just fine.

I went to my office and logged on our network. This email message from one of our administrators greeted me:

“We have been informed that the elevators are being worked on. Please let me know if you have any uncomfortable elevator moments.”

Uncomfortable elevator moments? Just reading the message was an “uncomfortable elevator moment.” The thought of having to walk up to the 10th floor is an “uncomfortable elevator moment.” Really, people. If the elevators aren’t working we should call it an “elevator day” and go home. There’s no need in causing anxiety and possible cardiac arrests when people have “uncomfortable elevator moments.”

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