The Real "Axis of Evil"

Since George W. was so gracious to inform us about the “axis of evil” a few years ago (and Will Ferrell did a side-splitting imitation wherein he added a few extras to the axis: math, Dick Cheney, and “one of them Koreas. . .” as well as a few others), I thought I’d publish my own Axis of Evil.

The following is an incomplete list of things that are “evil.” Read that as being things that destroy my diet, take up my time, unduly distract me or otherwise are so yummy they have to be from the nether regions.

Yummy evil:

1. Dr. Pepper (gotta be number one in my books)
2. Super soft sheets, warm comforter + cold rainy day (if I didn’t have kids, school loans and a smidgen of work ethic, I’d totally stay in bed from November to March. Maybe I should hibernate.)
3. The Internet
4. Shopping on the Internet
5. Salt and vinegar chips
6. Clinique Body Butter
7. Chocolate of any kind (sometimes eaten in conjunction with the salt and vinegar chips)
8. French onion soup at Panera

Now a different kind of evil:

1. Matthew waking up at 5:30 am and not going back to sleep
2. The Wiggles
3. Loud toddler toys that go off when you put them in the toy box and play “Baa Baa Black Sheep” until you dig it out and remove the batteries.
4. People who drive in the left lane and under the speed limit for no apparent reason
5. Rude people

I could go on and on, but I won’t. I’m sure you have your own axis of evil.


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